Separation in Canada: the words you'll hear

When you start learning about separation, you may suddenly be surrounded by unfamiliar words. Understanding them will not make the decisions easier, but it can make conversations with professionals feel less overwhelming.

This is general information, not legal advice. Family law in Canada is shared between federal and provincial or territorial governments, and the rules differ depending on where you live and whether you were married or living common-law. Please confirm anything that affects you with a family lawyer in your province or territory.

Separation and divorce

Separation generally means a couple has decided to live apart because the relationship has broken down. In many cases you do not need to go to court to be separated. Divorce is the legal end of a marriage and is granted by a court under the federal Divorce Act. People who were not married do not divorce, but may still need to sort out parenting, support and property.

Separating does not automatically mean you will divorce. Some people separate and later reconcile.

Separation agreement

A separation agreement is a written contract between separating partners. It can cover parenting arrangements, child support, spousal support and how property and debts are divided. Each person getting their own independent legal advice before signing is commonly recommended.

Parenting time and decision-making responsibility

Changes to the Divorce Act that took effect in 2021 replaced the older words custody and access with new, child-focused language. You may still hear the old words, and some provincial laws use different terms.

• Parenting time: the time a child spends in the care of a parent, including when the child is at school or daycare during that time.
• Decision-making responsibility: responsibility for making significant decisions about a child, such as health, education, culture, language, religion and significant extracurricular activities.
• Parenting plan: a document setting out how parents will share parenting time and decision-making.
• Best interests of the child: the main consideration in any decision about parenting.

Child support and the guidelines

Child support is money paid by one parent to the other to help with the costs of raising a child. In Canada, amounts are usually based on child support guidelines, which consider things like the paying parent's income, the number of children and the parenting arrangement. There are federal guidelines and some provinces have their own.

Spousal support

Spousal support is money one partner may pay to the other after separation. Whether it applies, how much and for how long depends on many factors and on the law where you live. This is one area where individual legal advice is especially important.

Mediation and other ways to resolve things

Many separating couples settle issues without a trial. The Divorce Act encourages using family dispute resolution where appropriate. You may hear about:

• Mediation: a neutral mediator helps you and your partner reach your own agreement.
• Collaborative family law: each person has a lawyer, and everyone commits to working things out without going to court.
• Arbitration: a neutral arbitrator hears both sides and makes a decision.
• Negotiation through lawyers: lawyers communicate on each person's behalf.

Mediation and similar processes may not be safe or suitable if there has been family violence or coercive control. Professionals are expected to screen for this. You can always tell them if you feel afraid.