Community guidelines

Support every path

• Some of us are staying, some are leaving, some are rebuilding and some don’t know yet. Every one of those is welcome here.
• Share what helped you. Don’t tell anyone what she should decide.
• Community members share experience, not professional advice. For care that fits you, see a qualified professional.

Keep everyone safe

• Use a community name, not your real name. Leave out names, workplaces, towns, schools and photos that could identify you or anyone else.
• Never share someone else’s private information, messages, photos or location. No doxxing, revenge content, threats or help monitoring or finding another person.
• Add a content warning when you write about abuse, self-harm, details of an affair, custody conflict or grief.
• No asking for or offering money, gift cards or loans, and no arranging to meet in person. Wishes are for help with time and know-how, inside HER AGAIN.
• No selling, recruiting or advertising. Verified professionals may share education and clearly labelled events, but may not privately approach members.

How we look after the space

• Report and block are on every post, reply, note, wish and message, and are never behind a paywall. The person you report isn’t told who reported them.
• Blocking is mutual and silent: neither of you sees the other’s posts, replies, notes or wishes.
• Trained moderators review reports. Anything reported by three different members is hidden until a moderator looks.
• Posts that sound like someone is in danger are held for a moderator, and the writer is shown crisis lines straight away.
• Moderators can remove content and pause posting. Every action is logged.
• Feeds are newest first. We don’t rank by popularity, show follower counts, or promote dramatic stories.

If you’re in danger

Reports are reviewed by people, not in real time. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911. In Canada, call or text 988 any time. The 2 AM page has more help.